Oyster magazine

oyster newsletter 31•5•11

top 5 : celebrity fragrances that don't exist (but should)

1) Eau Prah. Her talk show may have had its last hurrah, but the sweet smell of self-empowerment and fad diets will forever endure.

2) James Franc'Eau de Toilette. Your man may not be a multidisciplanary artist, academic or really, really, ridiculously good looking, but James Franco is the man your man could smell like.

3) Cologne Firth. With base notes of musty self-deprecation, mid notes of foppish Brit charm that would make Hugh Grant wince and top notes that positively reek of the BBC's costume department.

3) Courtney Cologne. Douse yourself in the heady aroma of Love's soiled couture, replete with lingering traces of stale cigarette smoke.

5) Kevin Scent. Equal parts shrewd and smug, the essence of Rudd distilled into a green and gold flacon.